I start by talking about a daily situation. From your point of view, obviously, you deserve the best. I will tell you about what you do, how it looks from your side, I may even throw a few bits of criticism not to look too one-sided, but they’ll be quiet harmless in the end, building up to the point to come.
Alas! Things don’t go as you planned. Something is unexpectedly wrong and you know the culprit. It’s THAT THING. It’s THAT PERSON. Seriously. That is the whole reason. I may still mention a few ideas here that might suggest it’s not just that but they will be so weak that instead of providing an alternative or deeper model, they will just reinforce the point. Not directly either. YOU will connect the dots and feel clever: You are now even more convinced that THAT THING is the problem. THAT PERSON is.
Now I’m gonna go for the throat. Depending on my style I will show some fake compassion some times, look a bit moderate (THAT PERSON was subjected to THAT SYSTEM you know) but it won’t stop the mayhem. In fact, similar to above, this may be a reinforcement! (I was subjected to THAT SYSTEM, I didn’t turn out the same way)
Toward the end, I will probably give you some pointers. Maybe I’ll tell you to fight it, maybe to blend in. But I’ll make you feel safe, because obviously, it’s not your fault. It’s more than likely for me to point my or my sponsor’s/friend’s latest book. Oh, also, at some point I’ll probably quote someone. Because quotes are smart and obviously, we are smart people who enjoy sophisticated things such as quotes.
Thanks to Will Stephen for inspiration.
However, I’m not done. I’m getting really tired of this template. I’m getting tired of the many justifications for self-exoneration. You don’t have to be right all the time. You don’t WANT TO BE right all the time. More importantly, you shouldn’t care about it. Don’t be so damn touchy. It gives you nothing.
Listen to this song by Garfunkel and Oates (if you somehow read this, marry me Riki.) While the main theme is different, I think there is an underlying connection: It’s about having a tough skin. It’s about not being safe. It’s about accepting the negativity in life because you know what? That is fucking life. Our generation loves talking about how our work or school or system or whatever is preventing us from a real life but then when we face difficulties, we shy away. Life isn’t happy instagram pictures from a beach or a party. Life is what it throws at you. It’s random. It’s messy.
I drifted so much. What I wanted to say initially was that life is complex. Things don’t have a single reason. They have multiple reasons ALWAYS. We will pretty much never deal with things with a perfectly detailed model in mind and that’s fine, but there should be a lower limit as well. Don’t oversimplify things. Otherwise not only you’ll just be WRONG, but you will have a harder time dealing with a variety of situations. Your communication with others will also be damaged because you’ll be torn between your fake, simple reality that you are emotionally committed and the perspective of others. When everyone oversimplifies, we get polarization and echo chambers.
Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. Before Godwin’s law is proven once more, I’ll stop. TLDR is, accept life. Don’t forget it’s more complex than what you see. Don’t forget that you aren’t the center of the universe. Don’t forget that it’s okay to make mistakes and have concerns. Face your fears. And if you are still reading Riki Lindholme, call me.